@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual.
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@BruceForce: When I see a door with the sign 'Door Alarmed' I always tell the door "don't worry, it's only me" ~ It's all about the empathy.
@crylenol: what if your dentist is the one idiot who disagrees with the all the other dentists? how would you know?
@pleatedjeans: [Shark Tank] an armadillo clock that rolls away so you gotta get up to turn off the alarm Sounds dum- It's called the Alarmadillo OMG SOLD