@thetigersez: Dating tip: Men find mysterious woman alluring, so keep the spark alive by occasionally acting like a lunatic possessed by the devil.
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@JohnHilsen: OK it's like sure, I've MURDERED before. Big deal. Sue me. It's not like I'm a MURDERER or anything. I only do it socially.
@: me: [staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out who i truly am] my reflection: soooooo what are we
@ItsAndyRyan: Russian computer: "Enter password" Me: "Beef stew" Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"
@ch000ch: me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i've got a date tonight. siri: "lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha."