@DannyZuker: Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section.
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@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
@VerifiedBIB: Had great idea for site for recent law grads called BarelyLegal .com. Turns out name was already taken. And their idea was much better.
@JoParkerBear: America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and half is spent trying to lose weight, and half is spent on education.