@_Mo_lee_: Daughter: You're invading my personal space
Mom: You came out of my personal space
Sounds like you're going to be pregnant forever.
@Claytonsaurus: If spiders ever figure out how to become ghosts, we're screwed.
@ImLeslieChow: When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date.
@addyosmani: Wow, it's a beautiful day outside. I should probably do something.
*closes the blinds so there isn't a glare on my screen*
@girl_a_whirl: [Catholic church]
*priest hands out "What To Expect At Your Exorcism"
Husband: Babe, this isn't counseling
Me: You said you'd try anything