@jerm1991: Day 3 in the desert: I have somehow gained the respect of some birds as they are circling above me in some sort of protective formation
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@BarryVonAwesome: The Hurricane came through here like a tornado -Lady on the News just now I don't want to live on this planet anymore
@CaptainJerkwad: Went to a restaurant. The sign said "breakfast anytime." So I ordered French toast during the renaissance
@ThingsJackDigs: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds
@NikiWithIssues: I have to stop saying "Because I'm Batman" all the time. It's not cute anymore. Oh wait. Yea it is! You know why? Because I'm Batman.