@novocapulum: Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not "English" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet.
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@flashember: Wife: Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! Me: Haha funny. [under the mattress] Bed Bug King: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL *tiny drums bang*
@bigmacher: I saw Jesus trending and my heart dropped. My first thought was 'damn you 2016!' but then i realized it was just his birthday.