@novocapulum: Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not "English" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet.
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@markydoodoo: [spelling bee] Teacher: your word is forwards Me: hey wait everyone else only had to spell one
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I had to call some kid's mom last night to tell her he's selling pot, and that it's waaay overpriced.
@UrFavAsianGuy: Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield.
@Donna_McCoy: I just smile when someone says I eat like a horse, because it's hard to argue through a mouthful of sugar cubes.