@neerjagurnani: Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I'm affordable" instead of "I'm adorable". Stop embarrassing me.
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@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.
@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.
@_davidlucas_: The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently.