@neerjagurnani: Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I'm affordable" instead of "I'm adorable". Stop embarrassing me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: Girlfriend: How old were you when you lost your virginity, 16-17? Me: [remembering having a bowl cut until I was 28] Around there.
@onion_an: Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please Waitress [slaps my face]: The men I please, that's none of your business
@Spaziotwat: Survivor 1: "Help! I can't swim! I'm drowning!" Survivor 2: "I have a buoy, friend."