@krissywillbretz: Dear bill collectors, if you want me to answer the phone, instead of "no caller ID" try something like "free shoes"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: [skydiving with my dog] Me: ur ears r inside out My dog: can't hear u my ears r inside out Me: it's the wind My dog: I think it's the wind
@slimmy_shady: I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing.
@Bizarro_Mark: If the sprayer in the sink can't get it off and the dishwasher can't get it off then I assume it's just meant to be a part of the pan.
@ClichedOut: HER: where were u last nite ME: *turns on airplane mode* HER: did u just say *turns on airplane mode*???