@TheBlessMess: Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.
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@ojedge: "Tim's coming tonight" "Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop
@heidi420x: Peanut butter You're almost as good as chocolate Which is almost as good as cheese Which is tied with vodka -Poem about the food pyramid
@murrman5: [spending entire date hiding the fact I'm really a beaver] "ow" what's wrong? "I got a splinter" may I see? "I guess so" delicious "pardon?"