@TheBlessMess: Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.
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@GianDoh: (wine tasting) WOW THIS ONE TASTES LIKE WINE TOO. I'M LIKE 5 FOR 5 NOW. KEEP 'EM COMIN'!
@SondraDeeMe: [mattress store interview] "What would you bring to this job?" A blanket, some cheetos, wrinkle cream, probably a television.
@kelkulus: The Church of England rejected female bishops. How can women's rights expect to move forward if they're not even allowed to move diagonally?