@gitson_shiggles: Dear guy that just shoplifted a brick from the supply centre, how close are you to finishing the construction of your dream home?
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@ceejoyner: wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us
@michaelianblack: Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the "intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist" wing of the Democratic Party.