@jackiemonahan: Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen
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@IfTonyTweeted: If the hackers that stole all those Yahoo passwords could tell me what mine is I’d appreciate it. I’ve been locked out for about 4 years now
@LeonEarlgrey: I have been using teeth whitener, and now they are completely oblivious to the experiences and sufferings of other peoples.
@EviGarth: 'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.