@jackiemonahan: Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen
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@Donna_McCoy: Not to brag, but according to my husband I can help with any home improvement project by getting the hell out of the way.
@therealeatwood: RICE: You think you’re so fancy COUSCOUS: How dare you, commoner! QUINOA: [getting hot stone massage] Can you peasants keep it down?
@Quartzjixler: I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars.