@lawyerthoughts: Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine.
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@TitansHomer: MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
@LanieLalaBugs: If my psychiatrist said "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured right??
@daemonic3: Can me and you go out sometime? "No, your grammar is too poor" Ok wow, my gramma broke af, but what that got to do with us?
@sweet_toof: Me: ..and a small sprite. McDonald's Girl: Want a large? All sizes are only $.99 Me: I ASKED FOR SMALL YOU DIABETES PEDDLER ok gimme a large