@Gizmo_1984: Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
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@shutupmikeginn: If Sherlock is such a great detective why does it take him 90min to solve a crime when CSI detectives do it in an hour minus commercials??
@funnyortruth: Friend : "I wasn't that drunk!" Me : "Dude a thief stole your T.V and you ran after him screaming "YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!!!"
@KentWGraham: God, I hate Apple. I updated my iPhone software and now I’m missing a bunch of photos, 30 bucks from my dresser and my favorite pants.
@delusions_of: The guy at the urinal next to me doesn't appreciate my theories on "Game of Thrones".