@Gizmo_1984: Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
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@sucittaM: I hate when I'm in line for the bathroom and someone asks if I'm in line, like I look like a dude who just waits outside of bathrooms.
@realHamOnWry: Twitter is considering a 10,000-character limit for tweets. Well, there goes the neighborhood.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Being a Jedi isn't all bad. I've been sitting around in my bathrobe for decades.
@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib