@Gizmo_1984: Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: People are coming over tomorrow Me: We should clean today Wife: And keep the house clean for 24 hours? Me: We should clean tomorrow
@1followernodad: *unfurls blueprint* Ok here's how I'm gonna make tonight about me.
@QwertyJones3: Let's name him something that will make children smile "How about Santa?" Ok but let's add something fierce so they are afraid to defy him
@CheryeDavis: Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.
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