@sucittaM: I hate when I'm in line for the bathroom and someone asks if I'm in line, like I look like a dude who just waits outside of bathrooms.

@realHamOnWry: Twitter is considering a 10,000-character limit for tweets. Well, there goes the neighborhood.

@VeryLonelyLuke: Being a Jedi isn't all bad. I've been sitting around in my bathrobe for decades.

@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib

@CloydRivers: Leave it to the idiot hippys to adopt a "holiday" on Hitler's Birthday. Merica.