@Gizmo_1984: Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: [Shark Tank] ME: I have discovered a microbe that consumes plastic MARK CUBAN: And why do you need our money? ME: It ate my credit card
@truegritrumble: ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen.
@timdonakowski: Boss: I'm following you on Twitter. Me: Sweet! 'Nother follower! [Days later] Me: Oh wait. Shit.
@Reverend_Scott: The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the