@DavidKrap: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [First day as a superhero] Oh hell yeah! *sees a crime happening* Already? Ok... *the bad guy looks really mean* Umm, I'll get the next one
@scottthetwat: Drug sniffing dogs are wrong 80 percent of the time. You would be too if you were sniffing drugs all day.
@rickolantern: They grow up so fast. My nephew lost his first tooth Saturday night In a fight a with a bouncer
@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.