@DavidKrap: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.
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@dafloydsta: HER: I hate you ME: Hate is such a strong word [cut to hate benching 300 lbs] HATE: *whispering* I will be the strongest word ever
@TheOnlyMANiC: Imagine Putting £5 worth of fuel in your car and your cars like "well, since we're both being childish" And refuses to open the door.
@shesananteater: Cathy on FB is "feeling annoyed" and is asking why people even own cell phones if they're not gonna answer. Can I tell her? Pleeease.
@KalvinMacleod: [skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea.