@darksidedeb: Dear women with cucumber slices on their eyes... you're using it wrong.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure
@AnOrangeSNES: Barista: Name? Me: Lotta Sexhaver *wink* *Time passes* Barista: Got a latte for Virgin McLiar
@DamnitJosh: "Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss.
@KeetPotato: therapist: "remember there are no stupid questions" wife: "okay" therapist: "keith you start" me: "do sharks ever need to have a bath?"