@krustythe_klown: Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago.
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@briangaar: Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass
@moooooog35: The sun isn't even up yet but this seems like a good time to start yelling at the top of my lungs trying to find a girlfriend. - birds
@jay_as_hell: choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun
@hipstermermaid: It's amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature's wonders!