@krustythe_klown: Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheAlexNevil: *me, at high school prom Me: So, you wanna dance? Her: Definitely! M: Can you tell me why?
@trojansauce: [dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*
@WineMummy: The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.
@InkedUpKidder: Saturday in my 20's: "Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!" Tonight: "Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"