@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
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@Nahdude83: I was making breakfast, then "She's a maniac" came on the radio... Everything is a blur. Why am I so tired? Why am I in this steel factory?
@SteveSuckington: Is it still illegal to run someone over with your car if they're wearing camouflage?
@NicestHippo: [job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes