@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
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@sickipediabot: Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying "I want to help Arsenal win trophies." So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?
@nachosarah: hey guys maybe girls are so cold all the time because you make us shave off all our hair
@shariv67: We can put a robot on Mars but we can't make a hand rail that goes the same speed as an escalator.
@TheAlexNevil: I've made friends on Twitter I never would've met in real life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything less than $200.