@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
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@sweet_toof: Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours
@rolldiggity: 1. Cover elevator floor with glue. 2. Put ring on floor. 3. Wait for someone to kneel and get stuck. 4. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"