We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@_steamy_mac: *deep drag off cigarette
I was in love once, kid.
*proceeds to eat lit cigarette
@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
@Sickayduh: Me: Did you know that a woman's voice gets higher when she's attracted to a man?
Her: *batman voice* I have a boyfriend
@Nahdude83: I put the "native" in descriminative...
Wait, that's not good.
@NicktheDrummy: We're gonna party like its 1999.
//breaks out Nokia flip phone and starts to panick about Y2K//
@daemonic3: Mommy, what are these?
"Put them back they are sleeping pills!"
Oh, then you shouldn't yell
[whispering] YOU'LL WAKE THEM UP