@WhaJoTalkinBout: Deli counter guy told me bad things happen in 3's after he dropped his phone and bumped his head, so I complained about him to management.
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@Jenn_H_Scott: It's okay, everyone. I know my 3yo's screams sound like his leg was run over by a lawn mower, but he's just got some fuzz stuck to his thumb
@Papa_Mex: I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food
@FrenulumBreve: [at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts "leave it Gary!"
@GirlRestrained: Hahaha stupid person... When it says 55mph it really means 64mph.........Idiot turtle person