@ComedyAndTruth: Dentist: *Pokes gums with sharp pointy instrament of death* Dentist: "Your gums are bleeding because you don't floss."
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@Mr_Kapowski: [gym] Trainer: You here to get cut? Me: Uhh no, I'm already circumcised and if that's covered under my membership, I want a reduced bill
@bobvulfov: [after an accident on the ski slope] ME: did i nail the triple backflip PARAMEDIC: u choked on a tootsie roll and fell off of the ski lift
@internetluke: [restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!
@attsmcjay: Hubs: " Few glasses of wine tonight hun"? Me: " Yeah, I had a glass of red" Hubs : " Just one eh" Me: " Well I use the same glass"