@Lexactly: Dentistry is the perfect profession for people who like to talk but don't want a response
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@Thynebear: [getting car jacked] umm i know i'm supposed to resist and all but if we don't cooperate we're both gonna miss McDonalds breakfast so hop in
@mattZillaaaa: Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.
@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.