@3sunzzz: Dentists that pass out lollipops at the end of your child's dental cleaning, are passing out little pieces of job security.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@comer310: Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*
@VerifiedDrunk: I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,
@beefman138: If Twitter allowed us to attach a signature to each Tweet, mine would be : "He said, stupidly."
@_The_Man__: Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?