@EndhooS: [describing criminal to sketch artist] He had the damp chest of a man with an excessive lisp. He was eating a newspaper.
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@LeagueofNope: I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!
@adamrensch: *walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN "I'm sorry sir, we don't--" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR.
@big_1_Otis: I like to sit on my hands until they go numb so it feels like somebody else is doing my dishes.
@Playing_Dad: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you you may be in love with a boomerang.