@EndhooS: [describing criminal to sketch artist] He had the damp chest of a man with an excessive lisp. He was eating a newspaper.
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@bea_ker: GUY POSING FOR THE SCREAM PAINTING: Are you done? Let me see EDVARD MUNCH: You look great GUY: Let me see EDVARD MUNCH: No
@NurseMurderer: Twitter is kinda like my diary except I don't use a glitter gel pen or tell you guys how much I miss Josh.
@trevso_electric: The only way to make a cat like you is to cancel plans with them and ignore their text messages.