@EndhooS: [describing criminal to sketch artist] He had the damp chest of a man with an excessive lisp. He was eating a newspaper.
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@Adam14: Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?
@CVTBaby: I don't ALWAYS post filthy tweets, but when I do, it is right after I'm followed by someone with "my Lord and Savior" in their bio.
@Iwriteforcats: Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder.