@ItsAndyRyan: Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Schrödinger: Nice, nice
@robfee: Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.
@HelmdawgE: Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
@ericsshadow: My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat.
@mrjohntofu: Why do girls keep giving me their fax numbers?
@Rollmaninoz: *Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*