@10InchesPlus: Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?
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@TuffyNyC: If they took all the money spent on making Godzilla movies, they could've probably just made an actual Godzilla by now.
@mexinonblonde: *handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel.
@iamspacegirl: [Drive-thru] CRONUS: Yes- I'll have the bucket of popcorn children Intercom: *crackling* Popcorn chicken, sir? CRONUS: omg what did I say
@highinamerica: Spell check changed "important" to "impotent" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up.