@NickBossRoss: "Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Actually I think it was when you hit me with your car-" "WE GOT AN ANGEL OVER HERE!"
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@LoveNLunchmeat: PMS is just an excuse women use to eat all the good snacks & occasionally when committing murder.
@astutenewf: Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it's lettuce.