@theyearofelan: Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven because they wouldn't let you in because you're terrible?
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@ericsshadow: If your wife is a school crossing guard, you're missing a huge opportunity if you don't tell people she's into human trafficking.
@johngaysee: My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-(
@KKAlThani: If you go by "there are plenty more fish in the sea" you'll never find love cause let's start with the fact that you think you can date fish
@Bob_Janke: If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking "ghosts" questions.