@amishschool: Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
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@Mr_Kapowski: I like to ask people what their sign is and then read them a completely different sign's horoscope just to hear them say "that's so me!"
@liliths_lair: The real reason women will never be the ones to propose: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
@thagr8short1: I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there.
@caperbc75: My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes