@BitchyJasmine: Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed.
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@ericsshadow: My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here.
@SkinnerSteven: 🎶 I'm a cat, boy / in a sealed box I hide / I'm Wanted / dead and alive! - Bon Schröedi
@CastAwayKristen: Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn’t work. Help forum: Should’ve had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now.