@suzieQ0007: Did you know Lysol kills 99.9% of germs & my toothpaste has tartar control? You would too if you sat in my bathroom without your phone.
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@Coepacetic: At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out.
@isaaaa: Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. "Like" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order.
@kellysdf: I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants.