@therealeatwood: Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob
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@dreamthievin: I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial
@SarraBeth: "What are you typing? Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that? Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.
@tastefactory: I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"