@primawesome: Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry.
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@KyleMcDowell86: *hires sky writer* I K N O W Y O U A T E T H E L A S T F R U I T R O L L U P. I W A N T A D I V O R C E K A R E N.
@ClichedOut: [camping] Friend: You gonna put that tent up yourself? Me: No, you sicko, under that tree.
@SondraDeeMe: Me:She's better than me. BF:She's not. M:Look at those, they're incredible! BF: M:STOP STARING! -Boyfriend reading other women's tweets