@primawesome: Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry.
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@nimble__nick: *At the pearly gates* St Peter: Welcome to heaven. I'll show you around. Me: Sooo many oysters must've died to make this gate.
@spcycucumber: I've been eating this memory foam for weeks now and I can't even remember why I'm still eating memory foam
@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.