@EvanJKessler: Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you're not being arrested?
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@envydatropic: I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit
@AngelaEhh: I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding.
@ThingsJackDigs: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds