@BuckyIsotope: Did your date order honey for dinner? Did your date eat the waiter when he brought the honey? Is your date a bear? You are dating a bear.
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@drewjanda: It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found
@Tmoney68: Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Sexy nurse! H: Meet me in the bedroom. [10 minutes later] *we both come in wearing nurse costumes* M: Uh.
@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.