@longwall26: Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife's office Christmas party.
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@graceful_asfuck: My 10 yr old googled how many states are in Oregon so I guess geography skills are like genetic or whatever
@dragonsorbet: [Confession] "I killed a man" "Wait what" "Lol had to get that off my chest, now why did you come in today, my son?"
@MichaelGoffLA: Pot has never been proven harmful to humans, but the way it makes those huge holes in the street has to give you pause.
@T_N_Crumpets: Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure