@longwall26: Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife's office Christmas party.
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@WilliamAder: If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode.
@hardlyrelevant: Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG
@Michael_Erhart: "Now?" "Not yet." "Now?" "Not quite." *Car approaches* "Now?" "Now." -Deer crossing the road
@dafloydsta: [speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT