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@gianni_bcn: *Dies and goes toward the light*
Light: "I have a boyfriend"
@JamieGreenlees: A colleague asked me "what's wrong?", and that's a month of her life she won't get back!
@lazerdoov: I bought "extra whitening" toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English
@MazMEDEA: Really not sure what's all the fuss about the Queen's #Nazi salute, everyone knows 'Scissors Beat Paper'
@MikeCanRant: 1) Find and catch a rabbit
2) Go to restaurant
3) Complain about a hare in your meal
4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet
@Lisa_Laughs_: When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.