@WilliamAder: Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
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@dumbbeezie: I don't have Facebook I use the police to tell my friends and family when I'm doing badly
@AndyRichter: Back in my day when we found a Pokémon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone
@leechee420: I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was.