@ShittingtonUK: Disliking the social justice crowd is to hating social justice as disliking the song "We Are the World" is to hating starving children.
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@ProdigyNelson: Her: when you said "magical in bed" this isn't exactly what I was exp- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card Her: *softly* holy shit
@Kalarlis: hi rappers i have been shaking dat ass all night and i am exhausted can you make a song about sitting and watching tv at a reasonable volume
@SuperApple80: The hardest part of being an astronaut would probably be the constant smell of poop in my spacesuit any time something went slightly wrong.