@armyVet1972: Divide and conquer? Ok. *opens calculator app*
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@DaleInc: This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a...
@FinnMcIver: everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal
@karlainvt: Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
@notacroc: WIFE: get down here! ME: *from telephone wire* I'm with my friends WIFE: why are u wearing fake wings? ME: *to bird next to me* they're real