@crushingbort: "Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz," Janet cried. "Where does it stop?"
8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for
@DBMaxP: Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
@Reverend_Scott: [at Applebees on Christmas]
God: Your food good?
Jesus: Ya, it-
*a crowd of servers surrounds them*
Jesus: You didn't...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y
@mintchevette: Haven't heard from my boyfriend in 3 days. Trying to start a prayer chain. He blocked me after I set up a wedding website so please RT.
@just1fool: My daughter asked me if it was illegal to be blind which tells me I didn't explain "legally blind" very well.
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