@briangaar: Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass
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@Lisa_Laughs_: Some apples don't fall far from the tree, BUT other apples catch a good roll and keep rolling...and rolling...and rolling..
@KingRainhead: boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!
@Brampersandon_: Loan me a couple bucks? "Sure" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? "..." Can I even pay with these?