@Hormonella: Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
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@LOsepyan: When someone says "surprise me", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men.
@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.
@NicCageMatch: Trying to take the best instagram picture ever but the kittens keep drowning in the latte.
@slaughthie: Someone told me they dont get tattoos cuz "you dont put bumper stickers on a Ferrari" which was weird bc he was a 92 Chevy caprice at best