@djdavemichaels: Do bouncers get paid in toothpicks or are they a part of their uniform, or what exactly is the deal here?
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@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.
@Home_Halfway: I want to make medical bracelets that say "In case of emergency, delete browser history"
@ParaJanitor: I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.