If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@LosLos__: Do her by the ocean.
Beaches love crabs.
@bobvulfov: [standing at the hospital nursery window with other new parents]
ME: this zoo is terrible
@bluntphilip: There's nothing more realistic in this world than a 26 year old couple on a house hunting tv show with a $1 million budget.
@BradBroaddus: Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip?
I think everyone in this bank just saw my face.
@Cheeseboy22: In honor of Star Wars day today, I cut off my son's hand and kissed my sister.
@McNevich: Accidentally ate a ball of wasabi the size of a marble and now I can smell math