@HoneyUnhinged: Do I at least get to yell "Jenga!" if my life falls apart?
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@Vodkantots: [on first date] Him: What's your sign? Me: Vertigo Him: You mean Virgo? Me: I mean your stupid fucking questions are making me dizzy.
@BuffaloHomo: Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do.
@MurphyMcLachlan: Doc I keep throwing up Did u eat anything odd lately No What about that bottle youre holding labelled "lizard juice" You said eat, idiot