@theNuzzy: Do I hate when people answer their own questions? Yes.
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@thenatewolf: *The doctor hands me my son. I see that he's Asian. I look at my wife* ME: unbelievable WIFE: I tried to tell- ME: the stork flew so far!
@hythemafia: "Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."
@Nikkeya08: Police officer: When's your birthday? Me: (Drunk) um ok thats easy... ten dash four PO: What year? Me: Ugh duh every year