@theNuzzy: Do I hate when people answer their own questions? Yes.
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@Kimgee8: Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust.
@krisv_723: Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. "I'd like to talk to you about modern science "
@LackOfShame: Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Her: What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom? Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.