@rickygervais: Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)
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@NurseSeymour: Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
@Rachelnoise: If by 'lucky' you mean I remember to clean the lint trap so it doesn't self combust, then yes, I'm up all night to get lucky. . . Again.
@TheBoydP: I'm not saying it would kill me to work out, I'm just saying my wife bought me a gym membership and doubled my life insurance...
@ceejoyner: Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent's face there is no known comeback.