@Ristolable: "DO NOT HIT ME. THE TURTLES DO NOT HIT SPLINTER. I AM SPLINTER TO YOU." -real thing I just said to my son
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@respected_loner: whats that detective, the serial killer is in the mall? i'll hack into their security cameras real fast [types "job openings" into google]
@BobTheSuit: 911: Your emergency? -Karen asked me a question. 911: Not an emergency. -She asked if I could be more pacific. 911: Cars are on their way.
@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
@RunwayDan: I appreciate it when my cats stand around while I clean their litter box. We're like a little road crew: one guy works, three supervise.