@Ristolable: "DO NOT HIT ME. THE TURTLES DO NOT HIT SPLINTER. I AM SPLINTER TO YOU." -real thing I just said to my son
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@mymizztake: 15 men all vying for the chance to fight with one woman: 1. The Bachelorette 2. The American presidential race Samsies.
@_SetTheHook_: Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start.
@Parentpains: It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it.
@sickipediabot: Breaking News ..... international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven't got anything to wear