@fuzzlime: Do not underestimate me. 16 just dared me to eat the fish food. It's freeze-dried worms. Wasn't bad. I'm hungry.
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@WGladstone: When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room.
@hayes_t_r: Chemists do tell jokes, but there's no reaction because all their people skills Argon. Omg, that's Sodium funny, right? Na? Okay.
@partlyfunny: If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
@Go2Slp: "Oh, beautiful. Just perfect. I wonder if I'll be able to control myself... aaaand they're gone." - Me with Thin Mints, and women.