@BrickStoneNews: Do Russia and Uganda realize if they put all their gay people in jail then jail will become the nicest part of their country?
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@FatherWithTwins: My 6yo wouldn't eat his chocolate chip muffin bec there were too many chocolate chips in it, and now I...I just...I'm gonna need a min here.
@LizHackett: It's Sunday morning. My 80-year-old neighbor has hiked and weeded her garden. I spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
@PaperWash: "can I have 2 sausage & cheese biscuits" That'll be $2.60 "with egg" $7.78 NVM no egg $17.83 "What?" [at gun point] give us ur wallet
@CherBear162: Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not.